Birthdays that mean nothing

Every birthday a special one.

Every birthday I celebrate myself. One time a year my birthday inspires reflection and appreciation for living this life. I stop to think about my life and what it means to me. To commemorate my 37th trip around the sun these are things I have learned. 

1. It isn’t about who you know, it’s about who knows you.

2. Ask lots of questions when selecting car insurance coverage. They hide fees that are unnecessary and can be lessened or avoided.

3. Etiquette is important. It is different for events, ceremonies, dinner parties and business. Don’t expect things to be done how I think they should be done. Respect the process.

4. If I allow anyone to take me anywhere far or dangerous, I always have the money and the know how to get home solo if I need to.

5. Sex changes everything for a woman. It’s biology, don’t fight it. Just know that going in.

6. Respect is the single most important ingredient to having a long and successful romantic relationship. All comes back to respect for the other person. Everything else can be worked out.

7. Sometimes I have beat my head against the same wall two three and four times and that is ok too.

8. Best friends don’t have to look like us. My best friendships are with people you’d never find together unless they were at my wedding or my funeral.

9. Europeans are great at maintaining real friendships across oceans and time.

10. Americans can learn a lot about community and family from the Balinese.

11. Things you haven’t experienced are just words until you experience them. Death, divorce, heartbreak, moving across the country, immigrating from a foreign country. Be sensitive and accepting to people. We all want to be appreciated and heard no matter the circumstances.

12. In leisure and in business, get things done by dealing with the decision maker on the other end.

13. It is impossible to please everyone. Some people will not like me and that’s just the way it is.

14. Spending energy on others is fine when it isn’t at the expense of my own wellbeing. Plus nobody likes kindness with strings attached.

15. Walk in with the confidence that you know what you are doing. People will believe you.

16. I am not the first person to feel any feeling or circumstance. There are songs written about it. Always.

17. Little girls grow up with more self esteem and confidence if they play a sport as a child. I didn’t learn that until I ran a marathon at 26.

18. See as much live music as possible.

19. There is nothing like the joy that comes from seeing a talented DJ play a set that inspires me and a bunch of strangers to dance together.

20. Quality is more important that quantity. True for diamonds, sound systems, friends.

21. College benefited me greatly. Best surprises came from GE classes. It was a gift to be turned on to thinking outside my major.

22. The value of art is dictated by how much people are willing to spend on it.


23. My experience with visual art is inextricable from the experience I bring with me. So is yours.

24. There are giraffes in Africa and elephants in Bali and craftsmen in Italy living their lives now. All over the world there are so many different ways of life.

25. Travel to other countries as much as you an afford to.

26. A wholesome meal prepared at home followed by a good nights sleep can cure hangovers and sadness most times.

27. I am independent and can do life all by myself. But Sunday nights are still lonely. It is human to want a companion.

28. Keep a journal.

29. Stop with the hurrying. What does it do for me other than create stress and exhaustion.

30. Divorce is so painful for so long. Like a death, like a failure, everything people say is true. And it is worse.

31. Time spent creating stories in my mind about what other people might think about me is time wasted.

32. Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know until you get there.

33. Don’t make requests to a professional DJ. They know what to do.

34. The people above me at work or in life all have insecurities and they are all afraid of something. Don’t be held back by thinking people are better than you.

35. Men are easy to read. When a man is serious about you he makes it very clear. If you have to try and guess why he didn’t call or why he never has time, move on. He isn’t into it.

36. Don’t marry someone you have expectations for if they don’t match the expectations that person has for their self.

37. It is possible and wonderful to fall in love with a person for one night and never see them again. The love on that occasion is meant to be experienced on its own. Nothing more.

Allyson Marino